


snowy days

by takeitlikeagem (rosesandcinnamon)



Series: maybe i just wanna be yours [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Human AU, cuddling and talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandcinnamon/pseuds/takeitlikeagem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper looks away, muttering about how “I’m glad it did happen, then” and Peridot agrees quietly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a set of connected drabbles about their relationship, different from roman candle heartbeat in that they all have a similar theme. There will either be three or four in this set.

 Peridot is not a fan of any weather that makes her uncomfortable. Summer is too hot. Winter is too cold.

Why can’t it just be a nice temperature year-round?

(She tells Jasper she’s going to fight the sun.)

But there is a perk to winter.

Jasper is very warm. And comfortable. And completely fine with letting Peri cuddle with her underneath a couple of blankets.

She’s happy with her girlfriend-and-blanket nest.

Exceedingly happy.

She snuggles closer to Jasper, rubbing her face against her arm with a gentle sigh.

Jasper glances at her, making sure the sigh was a good one, and she smiles.

“You comfy?”

Peri is very matter-of-fact about it.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

They lapse back into quiet, Jasper doing something in Minecraft, and Peridot messing around on her iPad.

\--

Jasper’s not actually paying attention to Minecraft. She’s distracted by- much prettier things. Her basement room has windows at ground level, and they’re quickly becoming obscured by snow, blocking out all but a fuzzy white glow.

Peri’s curled into her side, and although her toes of ice are shoved underneath her legs, her warmth against her is- it’s comforting and makes her feel content. It’s nice.

Unfortunately, to be able to see her TV and be curled up comfortably with her girlfriend, Jasper is keeping herself balanced against the headboard. It’s not too hard, but if she loses her concentration, she’s going to fall.

\--

Peridot’s browsing through old photos and- there’s something she hasn’t seen in a while.

“Hey, Jasper, look at this.”

She tries to keep the laughter out of her voice, and fails. Once she’s looking, she presses play.

The video starts on a frame of snow, with the audio of Jasper yelling something about “Peridot PLEASE HELP ME” and a quiet “in a minute hold on”.

The camera focuses on Jasper lying on her back in deep snow, staring up at the sky in defeat.

“Dork got herself stuck in the snow.”

With Peridot’s giggles, the video ends. Jasper shakes her head, smiling slightly.

“You snapchat too much.”

“Whatever.”

They don’t say anything for a few more seconds, until Peridot speaks quietly, casual in a way that Jasper doesn’t understand.

“It’s been a year since I realized I loved you.”

\--

Jasper loses her concentration.

She falls to the floor with a _thump_ , dragging the blankets with her.

“Hey! Rude!”

Peri leans off the bed, blinking at her.

“You okay?”

Jasper stares back up at her.

“Shit, Peri, you can’t just _say_ things like that all- simple!”

She blushes, and offers her hand. Jasper takes it, hauling herself (and the blankets) up.

They curl up together again, but she’s firmly on the bed this time. Peri’s still nestled against her, face pressed into her collarbone.

“So… you should tell me about that…”

\--

Peri knows it’s gonna come out awkwardly.

She hopes Jasper doesn’t care.

“You were gone with your parents and I- I missed you so much more than- than just a friend should have. And I was like ‘okay what does this even mean’ and well. It meant I loved you.”

Jasper rests her head on hers, gentle, and her hands seek out Peridot’s, fingers tangling together. 

She thinks for a moment before asking something.

“That means, though- that was months before we got together. That whole time, you… Really?”

Peri laughs.

“Yeah.”

“When were you planning on saying anything?”

She coughs.

“Um. Never.”

Underneath the blankets, something in Jasper’s chest goes cold. She shifts back, moving so that Peri sits up and glances at her.

She doesn’t have to ask why. She knows. She’s just- still not sure how to deal with it.

Jasper looks away, muttering about how “I’m glad it did happen, then” and Peridot agrees quietly.

They don’t talk for a minute, lost in thought.

“The snow is building up.”

Peri tilts her head to look at her, and tugs at her hand, willingly getting out of her blankets.

“Come on.”

Jasper smiles, and follows. She stops to make them put their boots on, but otherwise they go through the still house, ending up at the back door.

Peridot opens it, stepping out onto the patio, biting breeze tossing snow at the two of them. Jasper stands beside her, looking up at the clouded sky.

There’s nothing but the wind blowing, snowflakes catching on eyelashes, and their hands reaching for each other’s.


	2. Chapter 2

January was Jasper’s favorite month.

She enjoyed the concept of a new year and a fresh start, hoping for new things to come and getting rid of everything that had happened in the past year. It was something good to think about. Plus, it was so cold outside, and that meant beanies and jackets and snow.

It was a good month, and got even better when there was a snow day.

Peri had texted her way early in the morning to let her know, and Jasper had replied with a “come over!!!!!” The “later” text was enough, and she went back to sleep.

\--

Jasper woke up to extremely cold hands on her neck and back.

“What the _fuck_ \- Peridot!”

She laughed, icy fingers remaining where they were until Jasper squirmed away.

“Come on outside, it’s nice.”

“Ugh- whatever, let me get some better clothes on.”

A few minutes later, they were out in the snow. Peridot was content to watch the continually falling snowflakes while Jasper-

Jasper had underestimated the buildup of snow when she flopped into it, limbs shoving snow out of their way, forming a messy snow angel. She knew how to get up without ruining it, she’d played in the snow as a kid but-

She had sunk too far down to get out.

This was embarrassing.

“Peri?”

“What?”

“I’m stuck.”

Jasper didn’t have to look to know that she was digging her phone out of a pocket, leaving a path in the snow as she went over.

“Oh my god, you-”

“Don’t do this to me...”

There was silence as she did something on her phone, leaving Jasper to stare at the sky, wondering where her life went wrong- or maybe, went very, very right.

Even if her best friend wouldn’t get her out of the snow.

“Peridot _please help me_.”

“In a minute, hold on,” and she said to her phone, “ the dork got herself stuck in the snow.” She laughed, stopping the recording ,and then came closer to help her up.

Jasper took her offered hands, pulling herself up as Peridot’s slippery foothold gave. They almost had her upright when it happened, leading to a very undignified yelp as they both fell into the snow.

Peri would have been able to get up quickly, if not for the arm around her waist. She felt her jacket shift, and a sudden, drastic change in temperature.

Jasper laughed as she shoved snow into her clothes, ignoring the indignant shrieks.  Peridot held her own, wild arm movements tossing snow right back into her face.

“Stop it!”

She responded with more snow.

Breathless, Peri patted Jasper’s face, huffing out a “please”. She stopped, and laughed as she looked up at the grey clouds.

It occurred to them at the same time that wow, um, Peridot was in a compromising position. She awkwardly stood, and found better footing. Jasper pulled herself up with help, and they explained away the redness of their cheeks as just the cold.

Just the cold.

\--

Inside, Peri demanded a change of clothes because “I’m freezing and it’s your fault anyway”. Jasper complied, laughing at the sight of her in baggy clothes. They made hot chocolate and went back downstairs with blankets, settling on her floor.

Jasper couldn't contain her contentment and happiness. She felt so lucky to have a best friend, so lucky to have Peri. Smiling, she pulled her close, arm around her in a side hug.

Peridot rested her head on her shoulder, and Jasper let her. Something about it seemed- right, good, as if that was exactly how it should be. They sat together, hot mugs cupped in their hands, and Jasper glanced at Peridot with a warmth in her chest that was never for anyone but her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "this is totally how people feel about their best friends" -jasper definitely


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated lately! This may be the last chapter, but I think you'll like it :) hope you're all well.

Peridot’s grabbing her bag, stuffing some clothes and things into it. She could just walk back over after school, but why even bother? Double-checking her homework to make sure that it’s all done, she heads downstairs to say goodnight to her mom.

They chat for a moment, until Peri remembers that asking for permission to go to a friend’s is, you know, a thing that’s kind of important.

“Hey, can I go to Jasper’s tomorrow night?”

Her mom frowns slightly.

“Could you stay home for once?”

Peri sighs, pleading softly.

“It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I have to be with her.”

It hits her seconds after she speaks that UM, that’s not. That’s not something you should say to your mom about your best friend. The look on her mother’s face confirms that, a slow “did you really just say that” spreading across her features.

“I mean! She’s really annoyed about being single, she just wants my company.”

The tension relaxes.

“Alright, fine. Maybe her attitude will affect yours, someday.”

Peri smiles, and it doesn’t reach her eyes.

\--

The school day is fucking obnoxious. Jasper’s a PDA person, and this is too much for even her. Cool! You’re dating! She doesn’t care.

She knows that if she was dating someone, she would feel completely different, but she can allow herself some hypocrisy. She’s romantic, alright?

Peri’s equally annoyed, if not more so. They sit together at lunch, ignoring the happy couples surrounding them. Jasper notices that something is bugging Peridot, she’s just more- reserved than normal. She’s quiet when asked about how her morning classes went, avoiding her gaze and making herself small in her chair. It’s weird, but she won’t press her about it until they get home.

And actually, ever since Jasper was gone in December, Peri has been a little weird. A little less affectionate, a little more distant. It’s worrying, because as far as she can tell nothing has happened between them, so she really doesn’t know what’s wrong. Normally, despite Peri not enjoying it, she talks about her problems with her, and that hasn’t happened in a while.

Jasper shrugs as she tosses their trash out. Peridot has her reasons, and she won’t question it unless it gets worse.

\--

By the end of the day, Jasper is honestly more upset than annoyed. She _likes_ Valentine’s. It’s cute and romantic, and gives people an excuse to be good to their partners (or, with her parents, a reason).

It’s just wearing on her, and she’s got no one to be like that with. She's not even into anyone, really, so it shouldn't feel like this.

But it’s whatever. She’s got Peri for company.

They’re quiet on the ride home, letting the radio fill their silence. The roads aren’t great, so she drives more carefully than usual.

When they get out, the sidewalk looks innocent enough. But near the door, Peri takes a step, and her foot slides. Jasper is close enough to catch her, and she does, light weight easy to hold.

What isn’t easy is trying not to laugh at the _shriek_ that comes out of Peri’s mouth. It’s half laughter as she falls back against Jasper, and it’s honestly the funniest noise she’s ever heard.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Jasper’s hand hovers over her back for a few steps, ready to catch her again if she needs it, and a smile is on her face.

Peri’s a lot of fun to be around.

They get inside, finally, and Jasper can’t help but tease.

“Don’t trip down the stairs, okay?”

Peri nearly shoves her down them.

In her room, they drop their bags, and Jasper flops across her bed.

“We can do whatever tonight, I honestly don’t care.”

“You wanna watch a movie? After that though, we have to do our homework.”

“Peri, it’s the weekend…”

“Too bad.”

Peri sits on the bed, shoving Jasper’s legs out of the way so she can lean against the wall.

“Give me the remote.”

Jasper hands it over, propping her head on her hand to be able to look at her better.

“Are you gonna make us watch some cheesy movie?”

“Possibly. It is Valentine’s, after all.”

“Don’t remind me.”

She lets herself fall back, head hitting her pillow with a solid thump. The sound makes Peri look over, and her expression is almost sad.

“Come on, you’re here with me.”’

“I know.”

Peri takes a moment to say anything more, choosing a movie to watch. Her voice is colored with amusement when she speaks again.

“I bet you by Wednesday half of the new couples will break up.”

She laughs, harsh in the quiet, and she knows that Peri said it for her. She’s so- grateful.

“I’m serious though. It’s ridiculous how many people get together just for the sake of some commercialized holiday.”

“I’m glad to hear you still have no faith in people. But did you see Rose and Greg today? Honestly, they’re so gross.”

“You’re so mean about Rose.”

“Like you’re nice, Peri. Besides, am I wrong?”

She starts to laugh, her shoulders shaking, and Jasper can’t help but laugh too.

It’s good to be with her, it’s so good. She shifts to be able to see her again- she loves the way Peri’s face scrunches up when she’s laughing.

Even with all her idealistic hopes- she doesn’t want to be with anyone else. She wants to be exactly where she is, with Peri, the two of them so familiar together. Jasper’s the only one who gets this from her, gets the snark and dorkiness and laughter. But it’s the same for her- being around Peri is so natural, she doesn’t have to pretend to be anything she’s not.

Who else would be like this for her? Some boy she doesn’t know? A teammate, a classmate? Jasper looks at her best friend in the quiet, eyes creasing with her smile, and it’s like her entire world shifts.

She likes her so much, it’s the furthest thing from platonic. When had this happened, when had they become inseparable? It takes a moment for Jasper to even picture her life without Peri and- oh, already that’s something she doesn’t want to consider.

Jasper had always imagined love as racing hearts and romance and Taylor Swift songs (not that she listens to Taylor Swift). As much as they make fun of it sometimes, she’s a sucker for cute couple stuff. With the way her parents are- she has to have something to believe in.

But she’s wrong about all of it, isn’t she?

Looking at Peri, Jasper just feels like she’s home.  

“Hey. Jasper, you okay?”

She blinks, chest suddenly so tight.

"What?"

"You were so far away for a minute- is there something on my face?"

Jasper can't breathe.

"No, you're fine, I'm... I'm gonna go make popcorn."

She leaves, and this time on the stairs, it's her who's trying not to trip.

Peridot stares at the black screen of Jasper’s TV, alone in the room. For the first time that day, she can breathe. It’s hard to be in love with your best friend, especially on a day just made for romantic confessions. It’s been hard since December, living with the fact that she shouldn’t feel like this, that she can’t tell her. It’s all she can do to ignore everyone else’s happiness- she knows she can’t have it.

Alone, Peri doesn’t have to hide anything. She pulls her knees to her chest, and wishes the two of them were spending Valentine’s in a much different way.

\--

Jasper stands at the microwave for a moment, blankly staring at the buttons before recalling the directions. When she goes to press them, however, her hands are shaking. After putting the right time in, she puts her palms to the counter.

She feels like she’s dying. The idea of liking Peri is new and terrifying, her thoughts spiraling in patterns of _what if_ and _would she ever_. A pop startles her out of it, a few seconds between it and the next, Jasper listening to it cook. She remembers how to breathe, and laughs when something occurs to her.

She’s a secret romantic and she fell for her best friend. Of course she did. But of course she did, how could anyone who knew Peri so well not fall for her?

How is she going to deal with this?

She heads downstairs with the bowl, controlling her breathing. It’s fine, they’re fine, it’ll all be good unless she fucks it up. Going back into her room, Jasper smiles at Peri when she looks up. She smiles back, and they both think about how they’re faking the expression.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set before everything in this series. Enjoy the angst!

Peri backspaces, locks her phone, and sets it down. This isn’t right. She sits up, pulling her blanket tight around herself to combat the sudden chill in her chest. Jasper's gone to visit family over break, but- 

Why does she miss Jasper so much? Yeah, they’re best friends- but best friends don’t spend their winter break moping without each other- best friends don’t lie awake wishing the other was there- best friends don’t pick colleges just to be near each other- best friends don’t steal hoodies and sleep in them for more than convenience- what is Jasper to her? She’s afraid to even think it. Her breathing is funny, she can feel it fast and ragged, in out in out through her lungs.

She texts Jasper, making some excuse- being tired sounds reasonable enough, but Jasper texts her back. Since when has she gone to bed at nine o’clock? She’s not wrong, but Peri brushes her off anyway.

How is she going to deal with this? Already she’s fantasizing- sneaking kisses in the car, holding her as they fall asleep, dates, everything they already have but _more_. Every stupid romantic notion she can think of seems so perfect with Jasper as the subject, and it hurts to think of. Jasper doesn’t even talk about _boys_ , God forbid girls, and she’d deserve more than Peri. She’s just torturing herself with this.

It’s not the first time she’s thought about it. After that one night they had the house to themselves- she had to shove away thoughts for a while. But now, now, it’s big. It’s A Thing. Lying on her side, ignoring her blurry sight, Peri thinks. Suppose Jasper could like her too. Suppose she wasn’t ridiculous and actually had a chance. Could she ever tell her? Could she ever throw away their friendship for the slight chance of more? Her chest hurts at the thought of losing Jasper.

Her phone buzzes, and she doesn't want to look. She might say something she'll regret.

[Cheato: they're getting the booze out peri don't leave me]

Jasper doesn't even know. She won't. Peridot texts back, blinking to clear her eyes. They talk for a while, laughing over Jasper’s very drunk aunt. Eventually, Peri falls asleep waiting for the next text, emotional exhaustion catching up to her.

She wakes up in the middle of the night, and is peaceful for a moment.

But it hits her. She's in love with her best friend, and it could only go downhill from there. Peri can’t help but think that they already act like a couple- always together, the main people in each other's lives, but it doesn't even matter.

She's not sure if anything does matter.

Peri stares at the ceiling for too long to say, contemplating. She thinks about her parents, about Jasper’s parents, but mostly about Jasper. It's enough to convince herself that telling her is too big of a risk.  It hurts, to know that something great could happen at the cost of what she has.

But she'll live.

Peri rolls over, surprised to see the hint of light at the horizon. The snow reflects it, making it brighter outside than it should be. The wind brushes snow off the roof, and Peri falls asleep again staring at it.


End file.
